Introduction: Understanding Patience and Dyslexia
If you are anything like me, your patience runs thin…..often and sometimes quickly. It makes it even more difficult when you have contrasting personalities. I have had to learn the art of practicing patience with my dyslexic daughter. I feel as if I am no where near where I need to be but happy to report that there has been improvement. It is a challenge dealing with dyslexic kids especially if, like me, you are always rushing and pushing to “get things done”.
The importance of practicing patience, however, far exceeds what you may accomplish by rushing. Your child will feel supported and will thrive. Practicing patience allows your child room to understand and grow. Let’s dive into a few strategies that helped me.
The Power of Support & Empathy in Enhancing Patience
Unconditional support and empathy is essential for patience. Remember that your child may already be feeling out of place and left behind. Your support and understanding will provide reassurance and may help ease the burden that they are experiencing.
As a dyslexic, I believe my daughter felt misunderstood in many areas including at home and at school. But it took me a long time to realize and understand this. Slowly, I was able to recognize that exercising support and having empathy enhanced my patience. As a result, I gradually starting understanding my daughter more and we made progress.
The first step is realizing the power of support and empathy. Understand that this in return with impact on your patience positively. Below are some simple and practical ways in which you can show empathy and offer support to a dyslexic child.
Active Listening: Creating a Conducive Environment for Learning
Listening. One of the simplest of tasks. Turns out it is really not that easy to do. To actively listen is key in exercising patience and understanding dyslexia. I never really heard her when she said “I do not understand” or when she was confused with what may seem like a simple problem. This resulted in countless hours of arguments and frustration. A lot of wasted time.
What are the benefits of listening to your dyslexic child? The benefits of active listening for both parents and dyslexic children are significant. These include:
- Trust – when you actively listen to your child you build their trust in you. They feel comfortable with coming to you with their frustrations and insecurities.
- Information – what better way to get information than to listen? Listening to your child can help you gather information on the areas in which they are having difficulty and the areas they are strong.
- Clarification – listening can clarify issues. A personal example, active listening during homework time helped me identify that it was not that my daughter could not understand basic concepts in math. Instead, it was her struggles with reading that made word problems difficult to understand.
- Knowledge is power. Listening will equip you with the power of knowledge. Your child needs you in his or her corner. Knowledge of their struggles, discomfort and an appreciation of this will help you to exercise patience in your dealing with any situation.
Here are some techniques for effective active listening to foster learning and patience.
- Body Language – pay attention to your body language. Looking at your child and maintaining eye contact displays that you are genuinely listening to what is being said. Their body language is important too. Look out for changes in tone or facial expression to get an idea of their true feelings on a topic.
- Interruptions – limit distractions and interruptions when having these meaningful conversations with your child. Remember their dyslexia already limits their attention span. You, therefore, need to be focused in conversations. This includes interruptions from others, phones, work, television and more.
- Judgment & Conclusions – this is a difficult one for me. Try to avoid finishing your child’s sentences and thoughts. Reserve judgment. Your child needs to feel comfortable and safe during conversations. Being able to have an open conversation with you will build their trust.
Guide to Giving Clear Instructions & Not Rushing Your Dyslexic Child
Remember that dyslexia does not only impact on a persons ability to read or write. Dyslexia affects concentration, organizational skills, memory and time-management. I will urge you not to underestimate the importance of giving clear instructions to dyslexic children.
As someone with a little experience, I would encourage you to avoid rushing your dyslexic child to complete tasks. Truthfully, this could be more for your own peace of mind. I learnt the long and hard way that pushing and rushing and becoming impatient is simply not the way with a dyslexic. In the beginning, I simply thought my daughter was lazy. Plain and simple. It took a long while to learn and internalize that dyslexics have slow processing speeds which often result in slow work pace. This is not limited to their school work or reading. It can extend to their regular daily movements.
Trying to hurry along can lead to the frustration of both parties. I have had many instances over the years where this then resulted in my daughter completely shutting down mentally.
Below are some tips and techniques on giving instructions and pacing learning.
- Simplicity and Clarity – be clear and simple with your instruction. Keep it short and do not make the instructions too wordy. This can get confusing for a dyslexic child. If the instructions are written, look at highlighting key words and ideas.
- One at a time – try to avoid blurting out several tasks at once. Take it one at a time so that your child is clear on what is required. Several instructions at a time can be confusing to a dyslexic and oftentimes lead to little or no tasks being completed.
- Checklists – if you are leaving written instructions, or need several tasks to be completed in your absence, consider using a simple checklist. I have started using note tools on smart phones or devices to communicate tasks that need to be completed.
- Examples – depending on the chore or task you need done, it may be a good idea to leave an example of what you consider a good result so that your child can follow. For example, if you need the pantry packed, consider completing one shelf or section yourself so your child can follow your example. Believe me when I say that this can save a on a lot of disagreements, frustrations and feelings of inadequacy.
The Learning Process: Endless Patience and Unconditional Love
As time goes by and my daughter continues to learn about herself, growth is seen. By observing this, I have learnt that continuous learning leads to improved patience. I have seen a change in her sense of self worth and confidence. She now has more patience with her own self and has come to terms with the fact that her learning process is different.
There is something to be said about the importance of nurturing a growth mindset in dyslexic children. I will admit that there were times when I felt my daughter would never be any good at school work and would not succeed. After I spent my own time learning and embracing, I realized that I had to show her that through effort and practice her abilities would grow. This is the growth mindset. It is crucial for your child to understand this so that they do not doubt their abilities and foster low self esteem.
Parents, guardian and loved ones have their own learning process to face. It is easy to focus on what your dyslexic child is lacking and try to find ways for them to learn and grow. However, parents have their own learning process which focuses on understanding dyslexia and adapting parenting techniques.
The best way to help your child is to try to really understand what they are facing. Understand that they may not be able force themselves to move quickly, or memorize math problems, or read paragraphs fluently and this is all due to disruptions in how the brain processes.
Conclusion: Nurturing Patience for a Rewarding Relationship
While it may sound like I’m reflecting on my journey of practicing patience with my dyslexic child, the journey is far from over. I still lose it sometimes…….I will say though that working hard at and practicing patience makes it easier to understand and accept situations and results.
The power of patience has significantly impacted the parent-child relationship, specifically with my dyslexic daughter. I truly feel that we understand each other much better now.
I will leave you with my final thought which is that offering patience, understanding, and support fuels our children’s courage to take on their challenges. It even encourages them to take on new challenges. How rewarding!
Please feel free to share your comments and questions below.
Dee J.