One in every ten persons is dyslexic. Or so the statistics state. There are countless signs and symptoms of dyslexia. The aim is not to list them all here. Instead, I will highlight to you my personal experience with this learning difficulty in my daughter. The signs and symptoms were there but I did not know what it pointed to until a teacher at her grade school, to whom I will be forever grateful, brought it to my attention and from there it unfolded.
This is a simple list. An uncomplicated list of everyday things that I hope can help you identify if you or a loved one carries this learning disability.
Disorganized & Messy
I consider myself a fairly organized individual. I like things lined up a certain way, I function best when my desk is arranged in a certain way. This, I believe, is not unusual. What may strike you as unusual is that fact that I told a co-worker, who was holding on for me when I was due for maternity leave, not to do any filing – I would do it when I got back. My reason? I did not think that she would line the paper up properly before punching it. Anal? Maybe. Controlling? Somewhat. Inflexible? So I’ve been told.
When my daughter started getting homework in grade school we would sit at the table to do the work. Every day was a fight. I found myself constantly telling her to fix her books, organize her stationery, line up the work that had to get done. As she got older, the fights grew to – make a list of what is due, pile the books by subject, have all the tools you need to start the work, sit up straight. And so on and so forth. She is now 14. To this day, I walk into her room and roll my eyes at the condition it is in. Everything is scattered. While this is quite normal for the teenage years, understand that in this case, it is her nature. A simple thing like sitting on the floor to do her work instead of by the table was a concept I could not understand.
I have since learnt that dyslexics tend to be disorganized and messy. This is partly due to the fact that their memory, concentration and ability to keep time is affected with dyslexia. By the way, this in no way means that I still do not shout and order that the mess be cleaned up. At the age of 14, you surely know how to clean a room! But what I have come to understand that it will get messy again, very soon. Also, when I sit with her to work on anything, I no longer try to force my organization down on her. She cannot function as I do. We are opposites in that sense.
Difficulty Reading and Spelling
Difficulty reading and spelling is possibly the most common sign of dyslexia. This ranges across many symptoms or a combination of them. Some of these are reversing letters and sounds, lack of phonemic awareness, difficulty spelling and pronunciation. Again it took a lot of time and research for me to even begin to understand this concept. I my mind, if she knew her letters and sounds, surely she could sound words out to read and spell. To this day, my daughter has difficulty spelling. It took years for me to understand that a dyslexic brain works differently.
Without getting too scientific, the right side of the dyslexic brain is believed to be dominant and, therefore, the left side which is responsible for logic, reasoning, language and speech is weaker. Activation in the brain is distributed differently and it is argued that the dyslexic brain tends to work much harder to process the same information than can be more “easily” processed by someone who is not dyslexic.
Not everyone will be fluent or avid readers at an early age. Very recently, my daughter and I drove into a parking lot. I parked and she said to me that I cannot park here. I asked why and she responded that it was “Reserved” parking. Looking around and saw the sign that read “Reverse” parking. This broke my heart. A simple mix up of letters and sounds. My best advice here is to pay attention to yourself or to your kid. See if you can point out specific issues with reading or learning. Do not overthink. Examine it over time.
Lack of Love for Reading
I have already mentioned countless times that my love for reading runs deep. Dyslexics, most times, do not possess this love for reading. In fact, they shy away from it. I still see this in my daughter. When she was around 7 or 8, I noticed that she did not take to reading. I could not get her to sit and read. This is around the same time that her teacher pointed out that she may have a learning disorder. After the initial confusion and disbelief that I went through, I started researching. This has opened up a whole different school of thought for me.
By the time I got into the research I had already gone through the phase of yelling at her for being lazy and not trying hard enough to read properly. Not my finest hours. But I still remember clearly the first time I came across a video in my research that gave a bit of an insight into what dyslexics see when they try to read. This was one of the worst days of my life. I do not recall the exact site or video but here are two similar ones https://edition.cnn.com/2016/03/05/health/dyslexia-simulation/index.html and https://www.wired.com/2016/03/internet-looks-like-someone-dyslexia/
The guilt I felt for forcing and pushing when I truly did not understand still haunts me. It is possibly the main reason I continued research and tried to educate myself to deal with the situation better.
Failing to Focus
Distraction. Oh boy! This is a big one. Dyslexics are easily distracted. I have had endless episodes, prior to having any knowledge on this disorder, where I have had to pull my daughters focus back to the task at hand. She is sooooo easily distracted. When she was younger, it seemed quite normal for a kid and I never paid it much mind. Now that she is older and I know a little more, it is clearer that the distraction is real.
When she was tested and officially diagnosed as dyslexic with ADHD, a recommendation on the diagnosis for the grade school was to have her sit up front, closer to the teacher and away from windows. Now that she is in high school and understands a bit more, I try to get her to choose seats similarly for herself and not having to be assigned. I have learnt that one of the reasons for the lack of concentration is because a person with dyslexia becomes exhausted because they have to work harder to read or write. They become burnt out easier compared to others and, therefore, loses concentration easily.
My personal experience with this was highlighted when I realized during a regular day, I would give an instruction to do one task and another and another. These tasks that I refer to is minor. Brush your teeth, pick up the bag, put the cup in the sink, pack up the toys. What I realized I was doing was belting tasks one after the other quickly, too quickly for her. Her brain could not process all the demands in a timely manner. She could not focus and at the end maybe one or two tasks would get completed with the others being completely forgotten. Be mindful of this.
In Closing
My belief is that the earlier dyslexia is detected the better your chances are to understand and cope. There are simple steps that you can take to make the situation a little easier to bear. Although it can be difficult, there are loads of assistance out there along with psycho educational tests that can be undertaken to get a proper clinical diagnosis.
The above signs and symptoms are meant to place focus on everyday occurrences that may highlight if your loved one may be struggling. I ignored and interpreted these signs the wrong way for a long time. I try to do better now. Please feel free to share your experience and feedback in the comments section. I am excited to hear from you!
Dee J.